According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
