why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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