yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
