For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
