thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
