She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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