so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
