if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
where am i from again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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