You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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