We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I love you. Go after that dick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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