my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
what day is it and did you see me today?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sext me about skeletons
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
