Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
