Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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