She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
