lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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