he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
