So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
