You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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