would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
