he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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