I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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