I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
