So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize