I need help removing her.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just gift wrapped bread.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
