I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
