I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize