fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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