they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
