i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
