I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
