I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
