Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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