Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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