Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we have officially lost it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize