i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
