It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
