The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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