i jhust puked up my retainher.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
