you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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