Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
