so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
