is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize