Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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