dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
