Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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