Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
