I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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