he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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