Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
