How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
