Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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