walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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