If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
