hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
