omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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