I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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