Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
