mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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