I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
