white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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