Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize