I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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