the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
