and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
